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[10-15-05 at 8pm] |
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mood |
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 gloomy |
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music |
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Helena - My Chemical Romance |
] |
I didn't go to the concert last weekend. Sorry about that, William.
Nothing has been good. Everything has been terribly wrong.
I got a letter from my mother yesterday. She said that shes getting married. She's visiting next week with Jay, her fiance and Hiroki, my brother who lives with mother. She thinks that Father and I should get to know him and spend some time with him. Hah..I don't think so.
Did any of you get 5 week progress reports? I did. Father flipped. He says I need to do better, seeing how my lowest grade is a B+. He hit me a lot yesterday, while saying how much of a disappointment I've become. How I'm so stubborn like my mother.
Jeremie, Odd, Ulrich, and even Aelita have barely talked to me. All busy with classes and work and such.
Which reminds me. I'm getting a job. hehe. Yes. The farther away from home I am, the better.
Father has been staying home every weekend, so I can get beaten every spare second he gets. So, I've recently been staying in the abandoned factory for the weekends.
Need to go. Father needs to speak with me.
- Yumi
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[10-5-05 at 8pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
] |
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music |
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Helena - MCR |
] |
I'm PISSED.
*sighs* sorry. nothing else to say..
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[10-3-05 at 7pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bedroom Talk - Starting Line |
] |
I guess a bit has happened since school has started. I've made a few new friends since the friends that I have NOW won't talk to me..
My closest new friends name is (has you all know) William. He's quite nice. We share a lot in common, which makes it easy to start a good conversation with him. He actually bought me a ticket to go with him to a Starting Line concert this upcoming weekend. So, I won't be able to do anything this weekend. Sorry everyone! ^^;;
Anything new? ANYTHING at ALL? Meh...we get so boring after a while..haha.
Leave a comment.
*Yumi
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[9-17-05 at 1pm] |
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mood |
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Whats wrong...? |
] |
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music |
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The Trouble With Love Is |
] |
Well, Ulrich hasn't talked to me at all...i think hes mad at me..again.*sighs*
This is crazy. My life has changed so much since well..I don't exactly remember when everything went wrong.
My Dad has been...I don't know. worse i guess. Now he spends every waking moment at home, trying to find some way to piss me off. And when i finally have enough of it, and speak out of line, i get my ass kicked. -_-V
School started a little while ago. I've had loads of homework, projects, and tests. Its overwhelming, i must admit. But i usually get all my homeowkr done..
Well, you know who hasn't attacked in..well..a while. Its strange, I guess.
Ulrich, I really don't want to keep having these weird..silences between us. Did I do something wrong? PLease just talk to me..
Odd and Jeremie and well, everyone, have been dead in terms of on livejournal.
Whats up with you all? It feels like i havent talked to any of you in months...
- Yumi -
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[9-4-05 at 12am] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
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music |
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Happy Endings - All-American Rejects |
] |
Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
( See super_nuclear's results. )
...Interesting quiz I must say. Got that from Emily. Hmm...
What else is new...Theo dumped me. Yea. haha. Oh well. I guess..
Sorry for acting like a jerk in the thread of comments before, Ulrich. I was being stupid. Of course. -_-
Uhm...I haven't heard from anyone at all. Yea..
Well, Ulrich..I uhm...
never mind.
well, im going to go. call me or somethng.
- Yumi
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[8-24-05 at 1am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 rofl. kia picked it out |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing |
] |
Nothing New.
Just telling ya'll that I'm going out with theo.
And Kia is sleeping over. XD
talk to you guys later.
*Yumi
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| New Layout and other things |
[7-28-05 at 4pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
Hey everyone. Nothing really new..i guess. Umm...i'm trying out a new layout. ^_^
Everything has gotten..somewhat better with my dad. He still beats me everyday, but i guess its not has bad as it was before.
I wish someone at Kadic knew what I was going through..But when i think about it, I don't want them to know whats its like. It feels like I'm saying that I wish someone's parents would abuse them for my own comferting. Which I don't want.
I'm just confusing myself.
Yesterday, I hung out with Ulrich. Which was nice. We havent hung out just the two of us in a while.
It's been a few weeks since I told Ulrich that I liked him. And honestly, not trying to sound conceited, I thought he liked me. But it's not the biggest deal in the world if he doesn't like me like that. At least were still friends, right?
It could definatly be worse.
Right now I'm home alone, and very bored. Dad is at some party thing for his work, and won't be home until late tonight. I'm going to probably stay at the factory tonight. Because usually, my dad is VERY drunk after his work parties.
I wonder when Odd'll be home. hmm...
Jeremie is missing in action. Well, online/LJ wise. I talked to Jeremie a few days ago. And he's really trying to get Aelita materealized.
XANA has been very quiet lately. Last time he attacked was a few weeks ago. We usually get an attack very day.
Hey, im not complaining. I'd love to have a XANA free summer anytime. I just think it's quite suspicious.
Well, since there's nothing else to say, I'm going to go. talk to you all later.
- Yumi
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[7-21-05 at 12pm] |
Odd, I know you've probably heard this a MILLION times, but i am really sorry to hear about your mom. I hope you feel better soon.
Anyways, Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've just been...around. *mumbles* if i could truely call it that...
hehe. So, anywho. I repainted my room. I am very proud of myself, because I've never been known to artsy stuff. ^_^
My room is black. (uh...duh) But it has white swirls in it (for an example, think of the swirls in 'Starry Night') and on the swirls, is glitter. I need to admit, i like it.
I've recently been interested in photography. But yeah...
I feel..weird. I hate talking about myself so much. -__-;;
So, Later ya'll. *waves*
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[6-19-05 at 8pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ok..i guess.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sweet Misery |
] |
Well...i am...back. At my house.
Rebelling againest my dad....not such a good idea. ^^;;
But I'm sitting in my room. covered in band-aids, casts, and what-not.
I'm thinking about getting a new username for livejournal. I already made one. i just need to decide if i like it or not.
I guess it's just for safety purposes. So my dad can't sneak on to LJ.com and see what else is going wrong. Or when my next 'rebellious action' will be.
so, im bored. my next entry will probably be a survey of some sort.
bye.
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[5-29-05 at 12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 *sigh...* |
] |
I'm running away. And there isn't a thing anyone can do about it.
I'm sorry for all of this, guys. I really am. Ulrich wants to go tell someone...even if it is risking his own life. I'm really glad I have friends like you guys. =]
But I'm leaving the hospital now. And I don't know where I am going. Maybe to the factory...
Who knows. But I'm just soo...so sick of seeing the same god damn hospital. And living each day over..and over again like it was some form of deja vu.
I'm sick of being abused..and well...I'm going home. And I'm finishing all this once and for all...don't ask me HOW I am..but i am.
But...I can't believe I passed out. That's just soo...not like me. usually I can hold out for quite a while..but then again...I was bleeding all over the place..but now..I feel like writing a letter. So i'm just going to write on and post it in this LJ entry. Being the weird person I am. heh..
( Ulrich, Odd, Jeremie, or Aelita )
and of course...I need to write Sissi one too.
( Sissi )
I'll have my cell if you need to call me.
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| Today..[ this is a long entry ] |
[5-23-05 at 8pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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i'm sorry... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the beeping of the heart monitor next to me. |
] |
Today was confusing. At one point i just ran to the pond in the park and started crying.
I woke up in the factory about 4 in the morning. And it ws still dark. So i just roamed around the factory, praying i didn't trip over something and break it. Heh..being the clutz I am i thought i would have done that.
Around 5:30, I left the factory to go get some breakfast. So I stopped at a near by cafe and ordered coffee and a bagel. The person serving me had asked if I had just gotten beat up.
I felt...i dont know how i felt. I felt pretty down about it though. I said no. That I had just fell recently. And she just shruged. A lot of people did that. Just randomly asked if I was ok, and needed help to the hospital. heh..
A few people said i was pale. But I didnt feel too bad. Then...then I made the wrong move.
I'm once again in the hospital. I'm sorry....I really am guys..
I went back home. To get new clothes or something. And my dad had a few friends over. And they were as drunk as hell. My dad was screaming at me. He thought i was over at a hotel with some boy or something. I could barely understand what he was saying. His words slurred and his breath smelled like acohol and ciggartte smoke. I didn't say anything, because whenever I do say something..I wound up where I am now.
But because I didn't say anything, his friends started pushing me around. And dad followed suit. And i ended up breaking my right arm even more, getting burned from the ciggarettes all over my arms, and getting stitches on my cheek, lower leg, and foot.
Broken glass was everywhere..and it didn't even look like my house anymore. I..I was scared.
I limped to my room and I packed as much as I could. And...and I told my dad I was leaving. Permenantly. Which got him even madder. I was walking down the steps of my house, and he grabbed my foot and tripped me. I was knocked unconcious I'm assuming. Because I went to my house at 10 in the morning, and I woke up at 6 at night. I had been laying there...and they even beat me up when I was knocked unconcious. I have both of my eyes bruised. And my lip was bleeding pretty badly. So I went to the hospital by the school.
I have to pay for this all. All these stitches and casts. The doctors have been asking me whats happened. And the last time I said I was in a car accident. But this time...I didnt have an excuse. So i just kind of shook my head and said..'It's a long story'.
My dad called just now. And this is what I was afraid he was going to do..
You guys are in serious danger. My dad said that if I left the house or told the cops or any authority, he would go after my friends...after you guys..
So..after I get out of the hospital, I have to go back and live with him. And not stay in a dorm. I can't put you guys in any danger..
I have to stay the night here at the hospital. I don't think any of you will be reading this tonight. But possibly tomorrow. I'll talk to you guys later. I have my cell phone if you need to call me.
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| Life couldn't get better. |
[5-20-05 at 11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 why did i let him do that? |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Beverly Hills - Weezer |
] |
Well...lets see....
My dad went on my computer, LOOKED at my livejournal, and found out that i told you guys about him and what he does to me. hehe...WOOPS.
Well...i had to run to the hospital after that. And i got stitches near my eye and one my wrist. And a cast for my arm. That was yesterday though. (i didnt go to school today)
But yea..i feel weird. Because whenever im near Ulrich, (not that i HAVE been), i feel..akward. I now regret what i told him. I think i should have just left it alone. But no..i had to tell him.
Quoting from ulrichs journal: 'Yumi's dad is the biggest fucker alive' or..something like that. But i have to agree with you. He is horrible and heartless. And i just wish he was dead.
I don't really have anything else to say, except that i'm going to be sleeping in the factory for a few days, maybe.
Ulrich - Sorry i had to go and open my mouth like that. I hope you dont feel akward around me or anything...and if u do, just tell me.
Jeremie and Aelita are close to being done. And Aelita is coming for a few days. Should be fun.
I stressed out my voice today. Me and dad were fighting an all that crap. And i was pissed off so i had a LOT of anger stowed away. I just wanted to punch him and run out of the house. But I sat there and took all the bullshit...why?
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| This week was very...*insert adjective here* |
[5-13-05 at 8pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Behind Blue Eyes |
] |
weird best describes it. feeling like an idiot..yes. very.
today i told ulrich that i liked him. and i explained to him how long ive liked him and all that fun stuff. then i walked home without even considering to listen to wat he had to say. haha.
gotta go. talk to you guys later.
[Edit:]
Ok, i have to confess some things guys.. =\
Every weekend, when I go with my dad, -__- he abuses me.
And thats why Ive been coming to school with bruises, cuts, bumps, swollen limbs, and anything else you saw.
But anyway. Yes. I DID tell Ulrich that i liked him. I decided that I should take my chance and tell him how i feel. Because I feel guilty about keeping all those secrets from you guys. I mean, you're my best friends, and i should be able to tell you ANYTHING.
So yes. thats all.
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[4-18-05 at 5pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day |
] |
Well, today at school wasn't so great. Ever since this weekend...I couldn't sit or lay down without screaming. haha. So..yea. I hope some of my bruises weren't to noticable.
Well, I helped my dad move back in on friday and saturday. Haven't eaten anything since Thursday. I'm mad hungry. But we don't have any food in this house. -.-
Well, there was really no point to this post. So...I'm going to go now. bye.
- Yumi -
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[4-7-05 at 4pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
Well, I heard from Odd that there is a dance coming up. We should definatly go together. It'd be awesome. 'Specially if we could find a way to humiliate Sissi in front of the whole school. ^__^
Anywho..so..as you guys know, my dad came to visit me. He said that one of them had to stay with me..so i guess he was sent to take care of me. He says I'm going to go live at the school now, seeing as he needs to work all the time. But I have to go see him on the weekends. *shrug*
So, this friday night and saturday, I won't be able to hang out. sorry ^^;;
Um..thats all for now. Talk to ya'll later. bye!
- Yumi
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[3-5-05 at 10am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 worried/embarassed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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---- |
] |
Wow. I can't believe I've been gone for nine days. I didn't think I'd go THIS long. *shrug* Oh well..
Well, anyways, I saw Ulrich the other day. Which was nice. He took me to a cafe not far from school. And we just talked. He asked me when I was going to come home. I didn't say anything..because I didn't know when I was coming home. I told him that I didn't know..and that maybe I wouldn't come home. He wasn't to happy about that idea...me not coming home. I don't know what I want right now. It's just all so confusing.
So then I asked him about the fight with Odd..though I hated to bring it up. I didn't know what he would do. Yell..just walk away..But he didn't do either. He told me he was worried about Odd. And that he should go find him soon. I wanted to help him find Odd. But he insisted that I didn't.
Then we walked back to the gates outside of the school. And I did something I NEVER thought I would do..EVER. I kissed him. On the cheek. I was just so..I don't know. I felt wanted..like not useless. So I kissed him and ran off..he wanted me to stay with him in his dorm. But I didn't want to. I'm not worth it.
New topic. I saw Aelita's LJ entry for today. Saying that she feels pulsations. I don't know if I should go back..or find Odd and both of us go back. I mean..I think Ulrich is capable of fighting XANA's stupid monsters and everything..I just think he might need some help. Seeing how he would be single-handing this mission. So..I've decided to come home. AFTER I go and find Odd.
I'm worried about Odd. He isn't his happy, cheery self anymore. And..that only happens when something REALLY bad has happened. Him and Ulrich have never fought this long..well...since I've known them. So I'm hoping this fight ends soon..
Well..I'm going to go now. Odd..if you're reading this..Please meet me SOMEWHERE. Ok?
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| Don't know if this entry will work.. |
[2-24-05 at 12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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I'm in an alley wat do you think I'm listening to?! |
] |
Well, I'm in an alley right now. XD Yeah..an alley. Only place where I could find an outlet to charge my laptop. I've been gone for about 12 hours..maybe a little less. Once again, not in the mood for math.
Guys, I'm sorry about this whole thing. You know my old icon? The one that said 'I'm such a mistake?' Yes well it's damn true. I am a mistake.
I don't know when I will be back guys. Maybe I won't be back. *shrug* Who knows...I just want to say a few things before I have to go, which will be soon.
Jeremie- Thank you VERY much for letting me stay in your room the other night. No one has ever done anything so nice for me. Thanks again. =)
Aelita - I'm sorry that this Ulrich/Odd fight is making you depressed. I robably made it worse by bringing my gay parent's fight into this. But you're such a sweet person Aelita. You don't deserve to be depressed.
Odd && Ulrich - I'm sorry for..well..getting mad. I'm sorry for making Ulrich stressed and/or mad at me. I'm sorry for making things worse..I'm sorry for being alive at this moment.
That's why I ran away. I thought you guys would be better off without me. And I still think that. I got a call from my parents. They had left a voicemail. Well, it was my mom that called. They are still fighting. But they are getting a divorce...
Divorce..never thought it was possible with my parents. I thought that they cared for eachother! But now look...they've destroyed our LIVES. (By 'our' I mean my family's and mine). This is retarded. I think I'll just leave the country or shoot myself to make everyone happy...
- Yumi
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